I found this post from Cool Cat Teacher to be very inspiring. She calls it "Good Grief." Of course, when I saw the title, I thought of the way most of us use that phrase, the way it's used with Charlie Brown, but that's not what she meant. Her post inspired the following thoughts.
Those who know me, know that I don't like to talk about personal issues very much. It takes A LOT for me to trust someone, and just A LITTLE for me to stop trusting. For that, I have been labeled as conceited, dour, unfriendly, intimidating, mean, and some other words I won't post here.
But here I go about to talk about how I feel:
This school year has been a particularly discouraging one for me. I can't quite figure out why because I really like my job. I like the school where I work; I like the teachers with whom I work; and I really enjoy the students, although I don't have as much contact with them as I would like. (I don't like the long drive at such early hours, but I'm not leaving the beach to be closer.)
I know one thing that has discouraged me is that the integration of technology isn't important to far too many people. I almost want to cry (or punch someone, depending on what has happened that day) when I hear a teacher or administrator say that he or she doesn't know much about using computers and has no need to learn.
I don't ever try to force my beliefs or passions on other people. You can think what you want and do what you want.
People criticize me for being a baseball fan. They say it's a boring game and can't imagine how I can watch it so much. And then when they find out I've been a Pirates' fan all my life . . . well, those of you who know what they haven't done in the past 16 seasons can imagine the reaction. But I don't care. I love baseball. I will always love baseball. It has helped me in ways that many people would ridicule, but that's okay. I will never try to convince someone else to be a baseball fan. If I'm the last person on Earth to sit in a baseball park, I'm cool with that.
But when I deal with technology integration, I'm not just dealing with something I love. I'm not trying to encourage people to develop their technology skills just because I'm passionate about technology.
My job is to help teachers use technology to engage our students and prepare them for what's after high school. Therefore, when I work so hard and so long to convince teachers that this technology stuff really is not only worthwhile, but ESSENTIAL, for our students, I become discouraged when so few believe me and really apply it.
My job requires me to travel around the school a lot (and it's a big one), and to go into classrooms. I can't stand seeing students copying notes from overhead transparencies, or listening to a play or poem or novel on CDs, or watching a movie that has nothing to do with the curriculum, or being forced to listen to the teacher talk with no interaction. Most of the kids I see in those rooms have their heads down or are texting under their desks without looking (I wish I could do that), or something else that could result in disciplinary action against them. We are fortunate to have many methods at our disposal to engage our students, and technology is one of them, but there's no engagement in those rooms.
Beyond that, and even more discouraging, I don't get the support I need to convince teachers of the absolute necessity of technology integration. (And I guess that's a huge part of the discouragement I feel, that I feel under appreciated, and that I can no longer trust some I thought I could trust.) I don't advocate technology for the sake of technology, but for how it can inspire and engage our students.
I feel like I'm on an island. (Actually, I'd love to be on an island right now--a tropical one.) I feel like I'm fighting alone, and very few are giving credibility to my message.
That's why networking is so important to me. I can see that others are fighting the same fight and feeling the same way.
That's why Cool Cat Teacher's blog post is so helpful to me.
That's why I'll keep fighting . . . for the students, for our future.
And if I'm the last person fighting, I'm cool with that.